we have officially lost it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
