At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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