remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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