I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You're a waste of cheezeits
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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