Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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