never play flip cup with pint glasses
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
