i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
