the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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