when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
