just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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