I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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