im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
