if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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