the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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