Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize