To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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