So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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