I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
