Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
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She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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