my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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