Say something about gay babies.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
