I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
