If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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