that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
How naked do you want me to be?
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