im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
