Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
