I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize