I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
