Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize