Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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