Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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