Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
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you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
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definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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