so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
