Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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