I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
