420 ftw
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
