so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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