Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
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