I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
