So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
