If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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