She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
