Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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