just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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