Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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