Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
