There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize
