What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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