my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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