So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
