weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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