I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize