How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
