everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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