And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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