I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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