if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
