ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
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I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
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I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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