stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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