awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
should my penis look like a turkey
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
