And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
