Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
