I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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