You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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