I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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