Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
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