Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
