when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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