Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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