I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
