i just sent this text using only my big toe
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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