This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I need moral support for this bender
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
