Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
